Heroin

Heroin.

Funny how something that we read about everywhere we rarely know anything about. Maybe because the media give us such a false conception of everything. I know enough (probably too much) about drugs. I have in my time, led the drug lifestyle, sniffing lines off expensive glass tables with 50 notes and the same off dirty toiler seats with a fiver. I have taken E’s like smarties and been on all weekend (and longer) benders of drink and drugs.

But heroin. I never knew anything about it, my concept of heroin was stereotypical of the film Trainspotting, people lying in doorways with needles in their arms not being able to function in day to day life, except when stealing for the next hit.


Drew came into my life like a whirlwind. I didn’t have a choice when it came to falling for him, even resistance I put up, every negative thought that come into my head he pushed away. After being so independent for so long it felt good to be able to cut myself a little slack, to relax and let my guard down, to just be.

For nearly 3 months we have danced our little tune, it hasn’t all been perfect, I am guilty of not being open enough, of not stopping to think about my words or actions, I have never had too, I have been my own best friend and worst critic for so long that my ego found it hard to let someone else in. I also had to get used to not being the moodiest person in the room, to make way for Drew’s moods, for his thoughts and his feelings. Drew is sensitive to things that pass me by. It felt like our complete opposites were actually what made us , it felt right, it felt good.

Things were shaky for about four days, not that anything major happened, the sixth sense that I have relied on my whole life to keep me safe came into play and I knew something wasn’t right.

Last Tuesday we had an early morning bicker, about something so trivial it didn’t even warrant a mention in the grand scheme of things, but for some reason it triggered a whole chain of confessions. Drew rejected me, told me he wanted out.

Later on I received an explanation. His on heroin, he has been addicted on and off for 15 years.