Drew came into my life like a whirlwind, coffee drinking acquaintances to full on love-in-fest took just days, within 4 days I can honestly say I started to think that maybe, just maybe this is the man I had been waiting for my whole life. God, I exclaimed to my friends, shot me, this is not me.
And as much as I knew it wasn’t ‘me’ I still carried on right on falling, I guess lucky for me he caught me, caught me, entrapped me and held me hostage for sexual favours and crazy nights.
I don’t want to become on of those girls who talk about her boyfriend like she is part of the same genetic make up, but I am beginning to see the charm in this ‘us’ business, this partnership business. This having someone to think about other than myself business.
But I am also finding it difficult, I think I finally realised why writers end the novel when the girl finally gets her man, because its after she has snared him, after she has admitted to the world that love is now hers that the true challenges begin.
I mean, its not like he comes with user instructions is it? I can’t quickly reach into my handbag and pull out the handbook and say ‘right, ok, his in this weird mood so to fix it I have to push this button once and tighten that belt there and oh if I say something like this his internal voice reader is going to leap into action and replace his moodiness with happy vibes’
Nope, that won’t work, so instead I have to second guess and learn, and try (with gritted) teeth to understand just why he is like that even when I think there is no reason in the world for him to be so.
If anyone does have a handbook…I mean maybe some perfect man out there wrote you one when you first met? I’ll pay you nicely for the privilege of borrowing it for a few hours!
What’s that? Each model needs a different one?
God give me strength!
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